The Charm of an Heirloom Table

There is a particular pleasure in laying a table with china that has already served a hundred Sunday lunches. Vintage porcelain — whether it is your grandmother's willow pattern, a mismatched set of floral side plates gathered from fairs, or a full service in cream and gilt — brings warmth to a formal table in a way that new bone china rarely manages. The trick is to treat it as the guest of honour rather than the whole performance. Choose one element to lead: the china, the linen or the glassware. Let the others fall quietly into line behind it. A table where every piece matches perfectly can feel like a shop display; a table where one pattern sings and the rest supports it feels like a home.

Begin with the Linen

Formal laying starts from the table up. If your table is polished wood, protect it with a felt-backed silence cloth or a plain cotton underlay before the cloth goes on. This deadens the clatter of cutlery and stops hot dishes marking the surface. A proper damask or heavy linen cloth should overhang the edge by roughly 30 to 45 centimetres — enough to look generous, not so much that it pools in your guests' laps.

Napkins should be linen or good cotton, roughly 45 to 50 centimetres square. Fold them simply: a single fold, or a loose roll through a napkin ring, laid to the left of the forks or centred on the place setting. Resist over-starching. Stiff napkins crack and slide; soft ones sit kindly on a lap.

Cutlery: Work from the Outside In

Cutlery is laid in the order it will be used, so that a guest simply works inwards towards the plate. Forks go on the left, knives on the right with the blade facing inwards towards the plate. If soup is served, the soup spoon sits outermost on the right.

• Starters: fish knife and fork outermost if fish is the first course; otherwise a small knife and fork.
• Main course: dinner knife and fork closest to the plate.
• Pudding: dessert spoon and fork laid horizontally above the plate — spoon above, fork below, handles pointing right.
• Spacing: leave about 1.5 centimetres between each piece, and sit the whole line roughly 2 centimetres back from the edge of the table.

If you are serving cheese, a small cheese knife can be laid last, angled slightly across the top right of the setting. Butter knives stay with the butter dish, not at the place setting.

Glassware, Condiments and Candlelight

Glasses sit above the tip of the dinner knife, fanning gently to the right. Three is plenty for a formal dinner: a water glass, a white wine glass and a red wine glass. Add a sherry glass only if you are actually pouring sherry. Vintage crystal is often smaller than its modern equivalent, so check that a claret glass will hold a decent pour before you commit it to the table.

Salt goes to the left of the pepper, both placed between each pair of diners rather than in the centre, so nobody has to ask. A butter dish with its own knife, and a jug of water, complete the arrangement.

Candles should be unscented — you want the scent of the roast, not of fig and vanilla — and either low enough to see over or tall enough to sit above eye level. A low bowl of flowers, a few stems in a small glass, or a single footed dish of fruit makes a better centrepiece than anything tall. The parlour tradition is conversation, and conversation needs an uninterrupted view.

The Tea Things and the Parlour Tradition

Afternoon tea is where vintage china earns its keep. Lay a tray with the teapot, a hot water jug, a milk jug, a sugar bowl with tongs, and a slop bowl for spent leaves. A three-tier cake stand holds sandwiches below, scones in the middle and cakes on top, with small side plates stacked at one end of the table.

• Set each teacup on its saucer with the handle at roughly four o'clock to the drinker.
• Lay the teaspoon on the saucer behind the cup, never standing in it.
• Fill cups no more than two-thirds, which leaves room to add milk without slopping.
• Offer milk before sugar, and let guests stir their own — it is part of the ritual.

Caring for Old Porcelain

Older china needs a little consideration. Hold plates up to the light and check for crazing — the fine web of cracks in the glaze. Crazed pieces are still perfectly usable, but they stain, so rinse them promptly and never leave them soaking. Wash gilded and hand-painted pieces by hand in warm water; a dishwasher will strip gold within a few cycles.

If your porcelain predates the 1970s, treat it as occasional-use only and avoid serving highly acidic foods — vinegar dressings, citrus, tomatoes — directly on it, as older glazes can release small amounts of lead. Warm plates in a low oven, never a hot one.

Finally, expect sizes to differ from modern ware. A Victorian dinner plate is often 25 centimetres across rather than 27, so portions look larger than they are — which, on a formal table, is no bad thing. Lay the table, light the candles, and trust the china. A slightly mismatched, well-loved table, laid with care, tells your guests exactly what they need to know: that you are glad they came.